Rutgers University NABJ Newsroom : The NABJ Promo Post!

Rutgers University NABJ Newsroom : The NABJ Promo Post!: Welcome to the News Room! The NABJ , Rutgers Chapter is officially live on blogger and covering events outside of Rutgers University....

Rutgers University NABJ Newsroom : Christopher Etienne Stars in, "Bad Day, Good Knigh...

Rutgers University NABJ Newsroom : Christopher Etienne Stars in, "Bad Day, Good Knigh...: A Good Knight for NABJ RU Chapter President  NABJ President Christopher Etienne demonstrated his acting prowess this week for Rutgers...

Let's Play GTA 5, Episode 1-1 The Heist

First Taste of Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations!

First Taste, Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations!

It is very funny, If Harry Potter were a Ninja, his life would be identical to Naruto's. They are both special, and they are both in school to learn magical arts, and they are both under the pursuit of a gender confused snake man...see.


Hey faithful readers. I am happy to see that my blog is still getting traffic. In light of the slow summer movie season I decided to focus a lot on my youtube channel, Taste Bud Reviewers. When I start doing video reviews of movies I will definitely add them to my blog. but as of now I am focusing on Let's Plays. So this week I picked up my first "Naruto Shippuden Storm" game and it happens to be "generations" the spin off that brings the younger Naruto Universe in full force against the older generation. SO in my first installment of, first taste, I will show you the first few levels of game play along with my commentary and let you know from this taste test, what rank I give the game. Fanboys remember.. This is my first taste. I didn't play through any Naruto fighter yet. So, with that out of the way let's get to the show!

Naruto Shippuden Storm Generations... A First Taste

First Taste 1- 1: Naruto Vs Kakashi 

                      When you start the game with a gorgeously animated sequence that details a basic summary of the saga that you will be playing through. The animaitons are crisp and beautiful and it essentially gets you pumped up to see what is going to happen. However, this great fist impression gets stomped on by the inclusion of a slide show cutscene to tell the story. I know, this game is considered fan service and it is expected that we know the story. But in this generation of gaming, a comic strip style slideshow is unacceptable, especially if your English voice acting talent sounds horribly phoned in.

But the problem subsides when the gameplay starts and Naruto fights Kakashi in a test of strength. Fortunately the meat of the game does not disappoint. The controls are fluid, fighters move and fight the way they do in the anime, and the battle is fun to "watch" unfold. My only issue with this battle was that there is ZERO tutorial segments. This is bad and good. However, the bad outweighs in this situation. The game is developed with the assumption that you played the other games. And from a critical stand point,  assumptions are lazy. Naruto is fighting Kakashi, his teacher! In the anime, Kakashi would at least give Naruto pointers, not just Kick his face in. You would not even have to abruptly stop gameplay. The developers could have had Kakashi yell out pointers mid battle, like "what are you doing? focus your Chakra! (press and hold Y)" or "You're rusty, why won't you dodge? (press A to ninja move) " The begining of a game is a tutorial phase and you have to ease you gamers into the battle. The only time this is not necessary is when you are playing a simple 2D fighter like Mortal Kombat.

First Taste: Needs More Seasoning (but wait there's more!) 

 Part 2: Washing it Down  

 So, the game was not too fond of me when I started playing, so I went into the training mode to get a better grasp of what I was getting myself into. In training I figured out a lot about the controls and move sets and got a general grasp of the fighting strategy for this game.

Upon returning to the Story mode, I liked what I was playing much more. I will still stand by my first  impression that the developers should never assume that they are packaging something for an audience that played the last installments. There should always be an introduction that eases the gamer into the world that you created. That being said the story does continue in slideshow fashion, which I hate. I see what the game can visually do and I want to see that potential used on the story mode.  But the battles are awesome.

The game play is everything that I wanted out of the recent DBZ games that for some reason were shittier than DBZGT...smh. The controls are so slick and the combos happen if you enter the command. That sounds funny to you but if you are an avid fighting gamer, you know, you can have 15 button commands locked  in your skull and the combo doesn't always..happen. But this game has specific commands for combos and they usually work more frequently than i can say for most fighters. So I liked the game as I trucked on..

Washing it Down ... Satisfying  (but wait...you know the deal) 

Part 3 After Taste 

  Looking back at my fist three fights I have to say one thing...I HAD FUN. This game does a good job at letting the player have fun. For most people, the fun factor is all that they care about. However, I am a stickler for story. I really wanted to see more story in full HD animation and given the quality of this game, I know I could have gotten that. But I realize that this game does deserve a play through and even a strong recommendation for fans of the Naruto Universe. I cannot even say that with a straight face. The roster is massive and I don't think  you have to be a fan to play this game. Overall after washing it down, Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations is acually quite

Great Tasting! 

Pacific Rim Review

The Summer Movie Scene is the place for the 3 D's that actually make you buy a 3D Movie... Death, Destruction and Devastation. Guillermo Del Turo showed Very Clearly in The Hellboy Series that he loved the 3 D's and With "Pacific Rim" The 3D and the 3D's were ALL UP IN MAH FACE!

Pacific Rim Review 

Cast and Crew

              Pacific Rim Stars Monsters and Robots, let us move on... No but for real, we all know the real stars of this movie but for the sake of critical integrity let me inform you about the Cast and Crew. Pacific Rim is Direced by none other than Guillermo Del Turo. He is an extremely visual director that took a little heat for the Hell Boy Series, a series that I actually found quite enjoyable and fun for its purpose. That is the exact flow he brings to this movie. OUTSTANDING visuals and 3D, while being good for its purpose to entertain. The Cast lead is Charlie Hunnam, as Raleigh Becket, the Hot Headed Risk Taking pilot of The Jagger, Gypsy Danger. Charlie actually does a good job in the role. The role is very overused in movies but Hunnam manages to play the role fine and has a likability to him that you don't often see in actors that play the "hard ass that must grow to save the world role". He is supported by Idris Elba, and Rinko Kikuchi. Idris Elba is the General leading the Jagger Program he has a great back story that added so much depth to a supporting actor.  Rinko Kikuchi was also a delight to see on screen. I love watching a movie and not seeing much hollywood tropes used on characters. Kikuchi was a great female supporter and she was used to create an actual friend-like chemistry instead of a tired and overused vulnerable, romantic chemistry. While the best dialogue in the movie clearly belong to Idris Elba, I still have to say that the Cast and Crew of this film were quite Solid. 

The Story

                The Story is short and sweet, and that is one of the things I love about films like this. When you are going to create a super-in-your-face Action film, the story has to be very clear so that the audience doesn't feel out of place when all of the BIG action starts to hit. There is a portal to another in the Pacific ocean. The Portal is releasing these massive creatures that would make Godzilla crap all over himself. The Creatures attacked all over the world, wasting cities and killing millions. Humanity joined together, pulled all resources, and built large mechs and called them Jaggers (pronounced Yay-Gars) to fight back these masive beings. Now we have our summer action film of 2013. 

Overall Production 

                  So how does everything mesh? As you can see if you watched the featurette, Guillermo Del Turo admits that he is highly influenced by Anime. His influences are exactly what made this movie just HIT. The visuals are incredible. You actually feel the scale of these things and when they fight the Monsters, they make every blow count. The battles were so loud and intense that my girlfriend gripped my hand in some scenes. The Story is not AMAZING and you do leave the movie wanting more. I wouldn't say that wanting more is a bad thing. The 3D IMAX did not feel expensive with this movie I though the move was well worth the 3D. 

Taste??

There is no need to draw this out anymore. Go see Pacific Rim, its...

Delicious!

After Earth Review

When I was watching this, I realized Will Smith needed to be the General in Star Trek, not Tyler Perry, but...if they switched places After Earth wouldn't make a cent in the box office unless it was titled .."Madea Goes to Space"

After Earth Review 

                 Hey readers. I plan to make this review short and sweet because I am going to write a spoiler review to go on this movies. This movie has been bruised abused and battered by critics. However Audiences have been more lenient with the film calling it "not bad, but not good". I have to be real with you guys. Any space sci-fi  released a month after Star-Trek is not going to hold a candle to the Box office Giant, but to say that the movie is horrible is just plain biased. Here is my review of   M. Night Shyamalan's 
After Earth.

Cast and Crew 

             After Earth was Directed by M. Night Shyamalan..ouch...There was a time that a movie could be proud of being directed by this guy. M. Night did Direct 'The Sixth Sense' and 'Unbreakable'. Then his head exploded. That was when we started seeing movies like 'The Village', 'Lady in the Water' where he casted himself to play the greatest movie maker in the world who would save the world with his writing...Then 'The Happening' ...then..'The Last Airbender' how did you lose the rights to the name 'Avatar' than air your horrible 'Avatar' movie at the same time they played the 'blue people Avatar'? M. Night, you idiot ! I have to call him that because he made a mistake thinking he could compete then, and was a fool thinking it would be a bright idea airing this movie AFTER Star Trek! I'm ranting.. bad director, bad choice Will Smith, and Sony! 

                This movie stars Will and Jaden Smith, the father, son duo return to this Sci-Fi thriller that is not about the Pursuit of Happiness, but instead , the pursuit of Fearlessness. Will Smith, is great, as always and his son...is son is a young actor. Any Critic in their right mind knew the first two Harry Potter movies had a cast of not so good child actors. However, the cast of that series all grew into some quite talented kids all because they were given a chance. Jaden is not an Oscar worthy actor, but the kid HAS talent. I believed some of the scenes involving him and really do not see this as a miss cast. 

The Story 

                This is the story of a futuristic world where Humans have nearly destroyed the earth and were forced to re-locate to a planet called Nova Prime. The Earth would evolve over the thousands of years to defend itself against Human Habitation and is classified uninhabitable to humans. However, when a Father and War Hero brings his son along on a mission, they crash land on the earth and are forced into an intense survival situation and all responsibility is left on the hands of a child. I feel that there is nothing wrong with this story. It was very emotionally driven and even well presented. There is another aspect to the story that I will leave to the viewers. 

The Presentation 

(Good Tasting Stuff) 

                 For this movie presentation has to be broken down in to the good and bad tasting.. because this movie has a bit of both. The main character wears this high tech suit that is able to inform the wearer about danger by changing colors...That suit was cool and it really added to the story when you see the suit change. The new Earth that the kid explores is also very lush and interesting. It allowed for some beautiful cinematography and musical set pieces that actually wowed me. Jaden's performance was considered to be overly childish by many but I have to say that his performance was part of the story. I do have to say that I felt that he was pandering to the audience too much with some facial expressions but over all I think he did a good job. I feel that the story of Cypher played by Will Smith was Excellent and I did not feel that he was an emotionless asshole the way may other critics felt. Every father in Cinema doesn't have to follow that formula of perfection. He looked as though he really loved his kids and family and his emotions were difficult to express due to the trauma he went through in the wars. There are things he does that speaks volumes about his actual personality.

The BAD Tasting 

               OK There are tow scenes I could not get over . One of which I know for a fact is the reason why some people are upset about this movie. One scene involve a strictly M. Night Moment. I was watching the movie like "Why is this scene in the movie" There is no reason for the scene and the next scene is even more ridiculous and seems to only be in the movie for the sake of ...being in the movie. I can advocate for the scene, but only if the story gave the audience more about this After Earth that could have made this scene possible. The scene itself knocked the movie down a whole grade. M. Night, there is a time to be you, and a time to sit back and think realistically for your movie....please start thinking!

The Rating 

I have an issue with critics over-bashing this movie. There are some serious plot holes,
Some scenes that don't need to be in the movie, there are some obviously green
screened shots, and the script is a little bland. However, there is a solid story ant fairly
solid performance by Jaden Smith. There have been many many other child actors who have done
far worse performance wise and yet we were able to overlook their lack of talent. It is amazing how
a child actor who plays alongside his father in a movie could ever be seen as "Pimping" in Will Smith's part.
Its as if we forgot that Charlie Sheen. He was a mediocre actor and son of Martin Sheen, and we allowed him to rise into super stardom, with several leading roles he did not have the chops to fulfill. But eventually even Charlie Sheen pumped out some decent movies. Give the boy a chance, This movie was ..

Satisfying 

Iron Man 3 Review

You can be the cockiest most arrogant man in the world parading around with your money, telling the National guard to suck it...Bud when you Get Pummeled by a God, Fix an invisible ship, and warp into outer  space to save the world,  you might get knocked down a peg or two ...

 

Iron Man 3

 

 

                 I guess now that I am reviewing this I am going to have to review the entire trilogy so be ready for Those Posts. So to me this movie is a sequel of two movies, Iron Man, and the Avengers. Why, because the Director, Shane Black is smart and he understands that that bore fest Iron Man 2 Never existed. So let us get on with the review of the movie that launched our SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SEASON!!!

 

 

Cast and Crew

 

                     Iron Man 3 stars Robert Downey Jr., Gwyeth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Guy Peirce, and Ben Kingsley.  The movie is Directed by Shane Black, the mind behind Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Lethal Weapon 2, and The Screenplay writer of  "Last Action Hero" ....

 

Well he wrote the Screenplay, he didn't direct the Last Action Hero. Shane Black is more known for his quick and smart dialogue. This is a style that you would understand if you watch "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" (I recommend it).  So how did Shane Black handle the summer Epic? Pretty well. The Directer worked with Downy Jr. Before and knows how to utilize the guy. The Cast is Phenomenal with Don Cheadle doing a much better job as the Iron Patriot. As a fan service, he still sees himself as a war machine....ooooh speaking of fan service. I'll save that part for later :D

The Story

          Iron Man 3 is the story of Tony Stark post Avengers incident. Tony is left legitimately frightened after the incident in New York city that changes his life. Tony is left to his thoughts when a terrorist who calls himself the Manderine starts attacking LA. Now Tony has to face the Maderine while trying to battle with his own demons.

          That is the story and the story is great but there is an issue within the story that will inevitably divide the fans of this movie.  Many who watched the movie know exactly what I am talking about but since the problem didn't piss me off to the core I will not spoil it. Of course I will have to create a retrospective post where I will get spoilerific about this movie. The story is good. It is exiting, Iron man is faced with a real threat and while you aren't left thinking "how the hell is Tony going to win?" you do still feel that he is facing a real and dangerous threat.

 

Presentation 

             The Special effects and acting in this film is great. This is mostly due to the fact that Shane Black Utilizes a lot of Tony Stark in this film. This movie really brings the audience closer to the type of individual Tony is and I really liked that about this film. The Direction pulled out all the stops to show that these movies are not all about a CGI tin man that can fly, it is about Tony Stark. The performances are great and the movie makes good with showing you this. My only problem with the presentation was the inability to demonstrate certain things in a light that won't piss off the fans. I have a feeling I know where the story because of my knowledge of the franchise and its film adaptation. However, liberties were taken that make me fully understand that fans will be pissed and that all falls in the hands of the presentation.

 

 

                                                                             The Rating

            After going to the theater to see this I am totally pumped for the summer season. Iron Man 3 has its problems has its problems but totally outshines part 2, and in some instances the first instalment as well. I still don't agree with some of the choices and chances the movie takes but those choices actually benefited the film. Angry Fans, all can say is remember Iron Man because the first instalment took liberties and facilitated in cheap propaganda. The ending was even a bit anti-climactic as well. this movie was well structured , well played, and well presented and it was a totally fun watch. I am a stickler for source material so that will definitely knock this movie down a peg from being delicious. Iron Man 3 was certainly a tasty treat and

 

                                                                          Great Tasting

 

 



 

 



 

 



 



.

Oblivioun Movie Review

                  This movie should have been titled "Oblivious" instead. Tom Cruise was Oblivious to the tings that was happening around him. The Director was trying to keep you Oblivious and surprise you at the end...Actually,you do end up Oblivious...As to why you SAT THROUGH THIS WHOLE MOVIE!

Oblivion Review 

Cast and Crew

               Oblivion is directed by Joseph Kosinski the director of the legendary "Tron Legacy"...that was sarcasm. I have to say this director has a thing for vast emptiness and dark colors. Kosinski must have a fascination with sci-fi and I have to say he has a knack somewhere in his style. Eventually he will get it down and put out a sci-fi classic but Oblivion is not his career-making Gem. Tom Cruise plays Jack, Engineer 52. He is basically the only cast member worthy of discussing because this whole movie was his show. That is actually a good thing. I feel if the movie actually just kept the stupporting cast out of the picture more this would have been a great film. BUUUT the supporting cast are there...Morgan Freeman is Beech, he did good. Other people play other parts and I cannot discuss them without spoiling so let us move on :).

The Story 

              Jack, Engineer 52, is part of the clean up crew in a post apocalyptic Earth. Humanity was invaded and won, through the use of nuclear arms. It would be up to Jack to repair drones and explore the wastelands in various vehicles.However, Jack is a bit more intrigued with the land and less intrigued with his mission and starts digging. That is all I can tell you about the story . 

The Presentation 

              This movie is gorgeous. It looks like Jack is in a post apocalypse. One of the things that made me glad that I was watching this movie in the theaters was its stunning visuals. Tom Cruise is awesome in this movie. His act in Jack Reacher was commical to say the least but in this movie he put on his acting hat. So what is wrong with this movie that triggered my mean statement in my opening? The cast is great, the visuals are stunning, the story is actually very good, but Joseph Kosinski, your PRESENTATION sucks!!!

Take that Kosinski!!!!

              Ok...had to let off some steam, let us move on shall we.I had the same issues with "Tron Legacy" this director took a cool ass premise like: (A teen gets sucked into one of the most addictive arcade games in history) and turned it into a bunch of wannabe "Matrix" Wathefuckness!!! Here he takes a really cool story that should have been an instant classic and turned it into Boring  -------- bullshit. I had to censor myself because the use of the ------- genre made its way into this movie to become an unnecessary plot point!!! I'm a fan of ------- but that shit is out of the window in a world that is mostly Fallout 3 without the mutants. It was better when the ------- was between Jack and the planet he didn't want to abandon. 

             This movie takes a deep deep blow when it goes from actually intriguing to boring and the ending is a total cop out. Right after an ending  that you accept to expect after coping with the -------- bullshit the movie cops out and gives you a generic "Happily ever after" ending. I hate when a movie has everything going for it then a director tries to pull an M. Night Shammywammy on you . Forecast...M. Night sucks! he is a terrible director! There is no need to try to keep an audience guessing when you have a story with such an obvious ending. It will only piss us off an hour and  forty five minutes into the movie. 

Rating 

                 The story and the dedication my Tom Cruise and his supporting cast followed by these amazing visuals are proof that this movie deserves a better rating. I can actually see how some readers may get upset at my rating and argue that this movie was great. I have no problem with long movies but when a movie makes me think that I was watching it for three hours when in fact, I was watching it for two hours and five minutes then something is not right. When the action hit, it hit. When the drama weighs down, it was a little heavy. Yet, entertainment prevails and I was thoroughly bored during some of this film . With some better editing this movie could easily be about 20 to 30 minutes shorter and be a ton more entertaining. So I have to say I had my fill well before the third act. Oblivious was as Fattening and Bland as a Gallon of mushy rice!

Bland and Fattening 

(needs more seasoning and too Damn Much!!!)

                 

              

Quick Trivia

For the readers who had a chance to sit through the movie. When I mentioned -------- bullshit, what was I talking about? What genre doesn't belong in this

film? First guess gets an honorable mention in a post.

 

 

 

The Legend of Zelda : A Tasteful Retrospective

                     Would Frodo Baggins from the Lord of the Rings just hand the Ring of Power over to Sauron just for the challenge of hunting Sauron down and kicking that ass? Hell NO. But Link, from Legend of Zelda would do it and kill Sauron before he even grows his first Pubic Hair!

The History 

           On the year I was born, 1986, a simple video game would come to the home console that would significantly change gaming. Shigeru Myamoto is by far one of the most outside thinking video game developers in the history of gaming. His first major success was to to pull his construction worker out of Donkey Kong and give him a certification in Plumbing with Mario Bros. on the Famicom (the NES). While most gaming companies focused on Arcade gaming styles on the home consoles, Myamoto waned to focus on core game play and a goal that would keep gamers playing. 

            Myamoto wanted his games to reflect his childhood passion and desires. One great passion was Myamoto's passion for exploration and discovery. This passion would be translated into an 8 bit world in The Legend of Zelda. In the Christmas season children would open up a box to behold a game in a golden cartridge containing a game unlike any other. The game begins with Link (you could give him any name) in a room with an old man. The man says "It is dangerous out there, take this" and presents Link with a Sword. You can actually make the choice not to take the sword, but you will die! While the game play was clearly the definitive trait that launched the popularity of this game, many of the fans were caught up in the "Legend" of Zelda and the mysterious Triforce that they adventured this new world for. 

                 The Story

        The Legend of Zelda is a story of fantasy, war, and even reincarnation. The Story's center is Link, a young boy who is plunged into a dangerous quest to save his country from invasion. According to its original Hyrule Historia, The people of  Hyrule were relocated to the sky during a great war with The Demon, Demise. The war would lead to a godess relinquishing her immortality and leaving her sword for a Hero to reclaim and face the Demon. Link  would become that Hero. He decended from the sky and defeated the Demon in battle, becoming the Hero of Man. The people of  Hyrule would decend as well to settle their kingdom with the fiive noble races of earth. 

             But Demise would not be stopped and he was born again in the Guerudo Valley as Ganondorf. Ganondorf would return to Hyrule with the intent to seize the kingdom from within. He would curse the Great      Gaurdians of the earth, The Great Deku Tree, and Lord Jabu Jabu, and kill the King of Hyrule. However, Link and Zelda were borne into this world again and together are able to thwart Ganondorf in "The Ocarina of Time". The Legend would become obscured into three deep storylines after the events of the 'Ocarina of Time' since that adventure tore the fabric of time after many events involving time travel. 

The Triforce 

                In the Masterpiece, The Legend of Zelda, A Link to the Past, viewers would see this symbol of three triangles coming together to form a golden symbol that would forever shape the Zelda series. This is the Triforce, a relic left behind from the creators of the planet as a symbol of their existence. The Triforce would stir the interest of the Demon, Demise and start the neverending cycle of battles that tell the games story. The Triforce has three attributes, Wisdom , Power, and Courage. Only one that posesses all three attributes is worthy of controlling the relic.  But Ganondorf shatters the Triforce when he touches it and the relic split into three. The pieces would bond to the three people that had an affinity for its attribute. Link was given the Triforce of Courage, Zelda was given the Triforce of Wisdom, and Ganondorf was left with the Triforce of Power.  Ownership of the Triforce varies based on events of games but these are the essential places that each fragment of the Triforce resides and their masters. 

The Games 

The Legend of Zelda 1986  :                                                  Delicious 

The Legend of Zelda 2 Link's Adventure :                           Satisfying 

The Legend of Zelda "A Link to the Past :                          MASTERPIECE Delicious 

The Legend of Zelda "Link's Awakening":                         Delicious

The Legend of Zelda "Oracle of Seas/Ages":                     Unplayed 

The Legend of Zelda "Ocarina of Time" :                          MASTERPIECE Delicious 

The Legend of Zelda "Majora's Mask":                            Delicious 

The Legend of Zelda " Windwaker" :                                 MASTERPIECE Delicious

The Legend of Zelda  "The Twilight Princess"                   Delicious

The Legend of Zelda  "Minish Cap":                                  Great Tasting  

The Legend of Zelda  "The Phantom Hourglass"              Great Tasting 

The Legend of Zelda  "Spirit Tracks"                                 Great Tasting 

The Legend of Zelda  "Skyward Sword"                             MASTERPIECE Delicious 

The Legend of Zelda   "Ocarina of Time 3D"                     MASTERPIECE Delicious 

The Legend of Zelda   "A Link Between Words"               Unplayed 

The Legend of Zelda    " Windwaker HD"                          Unplayed (can't wait) 

Well if I missed any games let me know in the comments below. I will get to Oracle of Seasons and Ages 

and I plan on doing in depth reviews of the more popular games such as skyward sword. If anyone wants me to 

do an in depth review of any Zelda game let me know in the comments below and I promise I will get to it. I officially 

own every single Zelda title with the exception of  Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of ages. The Panasonic titles 

do not count and were not considered in the Hyrule Historia so please don't make me try to 

review those terrible games

The Legend

               For over 25 years Nintendo has been able to keep the legendary story of Link and his epic battle that takes place in his Universe for hundreds of years. The country of Hyrule evolves from a desolate empty land that is wracked with wars between Gods and Man, to a industrial world connected with railways and vast city towns. It is my assumption that Nintendo will keep the franchise going for another 25 years and maybe even make it into the Box office. This was a Tasteful retrospective of one of the most Delicious franchises in modern gaming history. 

          

GI Joe Retaliation Review

The Snake Eyes we all remember, the Storm Shadow we all remember,  The Cobra Commander we all remember (but without the high raspy voice, and Boobs with a gun...wait...I mean, the Lady Jaye... Sorry the movie really makes you think her code name is Boobs-with-a-gun. My bad...

 GI Joe: Retaliation

:

                     GI Joe Rise of the Cobra..I remember walking into a movie theater in my youth and staring at the fruits of Hollywood pulling down it's pants and shitting all over my childhood Toy Collection. I sat through as much of that movie as I could bear and walked out of the theater. I would debate with people about how bad the movie is. I would ask fans how old they were and get responses like "17" or "19" and I would want to punch the poor children in the head because of their ignorance. But now...A sequel was made and now, because of you guys, I have to watch that movie. I have to punish myself because I sat in a movie theater and realized that these fools weren't rebooting GI JOE, they are making a freaking SEQUEL. My integrity won't allow me to just quickly rate that movie without watching the rest of it so readers...be ready for the review of THAT movie. So how did the sequel hold up? Was the Rock able to save this poorly started franchise or will the Retaliation be an Epic Fail?

   Cast and Crew

                     I have to ponder...How did the director of Step Up 2, Step Up Revolution, and a Justin Beiber movie actually pull this movie off? I do not know. This film is Filmed by
Jon M Chu. I have to say, I don't know i it was studio pressure or Chu's choice of casting but for an Korean American Director, I am surprised how many GI JOE Characters were White Washed. The Cast is still impressive with Dwayne , The Rock  Johnson as leading character playing, Roadblock. His two man team of Joe's, Lady Jaye and Bland Nobody guy played by, Adrienne Palicki, and D.J. Contora are fine for what they are.


                 The REAL Stars of this movie are the Villains! Jonathan Pryce just eats his role up as The President and Zartan. (Yes, I said he plays Zartan Arnold Vosloo, sit down, you were the Face of Zartan fool) Pryce is obviously digging his role in this film and it works so well when he is on screen. Byung-hun Lee is fun to watch as Storm Shadow with his dark attitude and flashy fight sequences. And Luke Bracey...the Commando I always remenbered. Although Pryce stole the show, The Cobra was definitely nastolgic to see on stage.

                                                                          Story

                      The best way to describe this story is that its safe. I understand that they had to play it safe if they wanted to make some green on this movie. the first installment is terrible. This is a typical story about the good guy getting set up and having to go rouge. We have seen the story a thousand times. The Joes are introduced as the movie opens. We get to see the falsely advertised Channing Tatum, who enjoyed a good 39 seconds of screen time.(Honestly, false advertisement ...I had two 'Magic Mike' Fan Girls with me that were quite pissed at the theater!) as Duke, the squad leader of the JOEs. He has a close relationship with Roadblock and the friendship really makes for some fun dialogue in the opening Act.  However, the Cobra set up the JOE.s and annihilate the group killing most of the better actors from the first act. Thus leaving Roadblock alone with two Actors that would be killed off in a scary movie...making you wish that this were a scary movie. Road block has to get his team together and Rise up against the evils set before him.         

              The story is saved by the story of the Cobra. They have their own agenda and you will be thoroughly entertained by it. The Cobra embark on a quest to take over the world and fight of Snake Eyes, the only JOE They couldn't catch.THIS movie should have been called Rise of the Cobra...Witch is what makes me feel that Chu intended to shoot this movie as a Reboot and Hasbro Toys Executives stepped in to shut that down. They thought it would be more profitable to make this a Sequel so the critics like me would be forced to buy that other shitty movie and watch it. But the story is fine and it is muuuuuch better than the first instalment          




                                                                            Presentation

                      The Story may not be that great and the script may have been incredibly silly. But for some reason the way this movie is presented just has a charm that wont disappoint you after you are done with the film.The action really hits and makes up for a lot of the movies obvious flaws.   

                       However I cannot be too forgiving to this movie. The director made some poor choices in dialogue, and just core story sets. Spoiler Alert ....Spoiler Alert Skip a paragraph if you intend to watch this movie: If you watch the trailer, you see a Nuking that takes out a huge city. You would expect that scene to mean something to the story. I mean the way I looked at it, if  the Cobra succeeded in taking out millions they kinda won the fight. But after that bombing. The JOEs come in, kick ass, and the movie ends. No one even mentions the millions of people that die it was as if the scene never even happened. That shit is just sloppy writing!

                                                                            The Rating

                 

 I will be Straight with you .If you are one of those viewers that are able to turn off your sense of reality while watching action movies your shouldn't have a problem watching GI JOE: Retaliation. If you really want to enjoy it, sit through the first movie right before watching it and you should LOVE this one. I didn't do that because I wanted to avoid making the Contrast Error, and over rate this movie. I feel there could have been more done to save this movie. It was okay but I cannot call it a GOOD movie even though I enjoyed some scenes. I would have to say that GI JOE Retaliation may not be FOUL, but it definitely

                                                Needs More Seasoning