Let's Play GTA 5, Episode 1-1 The Heist

First Taste of Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations!

First Taste, Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations!

It is very funny, If Harry Potter were a Ninja, his life would be identical to Naruto's. They are both special, and they are both in school to learn magical arts, and they are both under the pursuit of a gender confused snake man...see.


Hey faithful readers. I am happy to see that my blog is still getting traffic. In light of the slow summer movie season I decided to focus a lot on my youtube channel, Taste Bud Reviewers. When I start doing video reviews of movies I will definitely add them to my blog. but as of now I am focusing on Let's Plays. So this week I picked up my first "Naruto Shippuden Storm" game and it happens to be "generations" the spin off that brings the younger Naruto Universe in full force against the older generation. SO in my first installment of, first taste, I will show you the first few levels of game play along with my commentary and let you know from this taste test, what rank I give the game. Fanboys remember.. This is my first taste. I didn't play through any Naruto fighter yet. So, with that out of the way let's get to the show!

Naruto Shippuden Storm Generations... A First Taste

First Taste 1- 1: Naruto Vs Kakashi 

                      When you start the game with a gorgeously animated sequence that details a basic summary of the saga that you will be playing through. The animaitons are crisp and beautiful and it essentially gets you pumped up to see what is going to happen. However, this great fist impression gets stomped on by the inclusion of a slide show cutscene to tell the story. I know, this game is considered fan service and it is expected that we know the story. But in this generation of gaming, a comic strip style slideshow is unacceptable, especially if your English voice acting talent sounds horribly phoned in.

But the problem subsides when the gameplay starts and Naruto fights Kakashi in a test of strength. Fortunately the meat of the game does not disappoint. The controls are fluid, fighters move and fight the way they do in the anime, and the battle is fun to "watch" unfold. My only issue with this battle was that there is ZERO tutorial segments. This is bad and good. However, the bad outweighs in this situation. The game is developed with the assumption that you played the other games. And from a critical stand point,  assumptions are lazy. Naruto is fighting Kakashi, his teacher! In the anime, Kakashi would at least give Naruto pointers, not just Kick his face in. You would not even have to abruptly stop gameplay. The developers could have had Kakashi yell out pointers mid battle, like "what are you doing? focus your Chakra! (press and hold Y)" or "You're rusty, why won't you dodge? (press A to ninja move) " The begining of a game is a tutorial phase and you have to ease you gamers into the battle. The only time this is not necessary is when you are playing a simple 2D fighter like Mortal Kombat.

First Taste: Needs More Seasoning (but wait there's more!) 

 Part 2: Washing it Down  

 So, the game was not too fond of me when I started playing, so I went into the training mode to get a better grasp of what I was getting myself into. In training I figured out a lot about the controls and move sets and got a general grasp of the fighting strategy for this game.

Upon returning to the Story mode, I liked what I was playing much more. I will still stand by my first  impression that the developers should never assume that they are packaging something for an audience that played the last installments. There should always be an introduction that eases the gamer into the world that you created. That being said the story does continue in slideshow fashion, which I hate. I see what the game can visually do and I want to see that potential used on the story mode.  But the battles are awesome.

The game play is everything that I wanted out of the recent DBZ games that for some reason were shittier than DBZGT...smh. The controls are so slick and the combos happen if you enter the command. That sounds funny to you but if you are an avid fighting gamer, you know, you can have 15 button commands locked  in your skull and the combo doesn't always..happen. But this game has specific commands for combos and they usually work more frequently than i can say for most fighters. So I liked the game as I trucked on..

Washing it Down ... Satisfying  (but wait...you know the deal) 

Part 3 After Taste 

  Looking back at my fist three fights I have to say one thing...I HAD FUN. This game does a good job at letting the player have fun. For most people, the fun factor is all that they care about. However, I am a stickler for story. I really wanted to see more story in full HD animation and given the quality of this game, I know I could have gotten that. But I realize that this game does deserve a play through and even a strong recommendation for fans of the Naruto Universe. I cannot even say that with a straight face. The roster is massive and I don't think  you have to be a fan to play this game. Overall after washing it down, Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations is acually quite

Great Tasting! 

Pacific Rim Review

The Summer Movie Scene is the place for the 3 D's that actually make you buy a 3D Movie... Death, Destruction and Devastation. Guillermo Del Turo showed Very Clearly in The Hellboy Series that he loved the 3 D's and With "Pacific Rim" The 3D and the 3D's were ALL UP IN MAH FACE!

Pacific Rim Review 

Cast and Crew

              Pacific Rim Stars Monsters and Robots, let us move on... No but for real, we all know the real stars of this movie but for the sake of critical integrity let me inform you about the Cast and Crew. Pacific Rim is Direced by none other than Guillermo Del Turo. He is an extremely visual director that took a little heat for the Hell Boy Series, a series that I actually found quite enjoyable and fun for its purpose. That is the exact flow he brings to this movie. OUTSTANDING visuals and 3D, while being good for its purpose to entertain. The Cast lead is Charlie Hunnam, as Raleigh Becket, the Hot Headed Risk Taking pilot of The Jagger, Gypsy Danger. Charlie actually does a good job in the role. The role is very overused in movies but Hunnam manages to play the role fine and has a likability to him that you don't often see in actors that play the "hard ass that must grow to save the world role". He is supported by Idris Elba, and Rinko Kikuchi. Idris Elba is the General leading the Jagger Program he has a great back story that added so much depth to a supporting actor.  Rinko Kikuchi was also a delight to see on screen. I love watching a movie and not seeing much hollywood tropes used on characters. Kikuchi was a great female supporter and she was used to create an actual friend-like chemistry instead of a tired and overused vulnerable, romantic chemistry. While the best dialogue in the movie clearly belong to Idris Elba, I still have to say that the Cast and Crew of this film were quite Solid. 

The Story

                The Story is short and sweet, and that is one of the things I love about films like this. When you are going to create a super-in-your-face Action film, the story has to be very clear so that the audience doesn't feel out of place when all of the BIG action starts to hit. There is a portal to another in the Pacific ocean. The Portal is releasing these massive creatures that would make Godzilla crap all over himself. The Creatures attacked all over the world, wasting cities and killing millions. Humanity joined together, pulled all resources, and built large mechs and called them Jaggers (pronounced Yay-Gars) to fight back these masive beings. Now we have our summer action film of 2013. 

Overall Production 

                  So how does everything mesh? As you can see if you watched the featurette, Guillermo Del Turo admits that he is highly influenced by Anime. His influences are exactly what made this movie just HIT. The visuals are incredible. You actually feel the scale of these things and when they fight the Monsters, they make every blow count. The battles were so loud and intense that my girlfriend gripped my hand in some scenes. The Story is not AMAZING and you do leave the movie wanting more. I wouldn't say that wanting more is a bad thing. The 3D IMAX did not feel expensive with this movie I though the move was well worth the 3D. 

Taste??

There is no need to draw this out anymore. Go see Pacific Rim, its...

Delicious!

After Earth Review

When I was watching this, I realized Will Smith needed to be the General in Star Trek, not Tyler Perry, but...if they switched places After Earth wouldn't make a cent in the box office unless it was titled .."Madea Goes to Space"

After Earth Review 

                 Hey readers. I plan to make this review short and sweet because I am going to write a spoiler review to go on this movies. This movie has been bruised abused and battered by critics. However Audiences have been more lenient with the film calling it "not bad, but not good". I have to be real with you guys. Any space sci-fi  released a month after Star-Trek is not going to hold a candle to the Box office Giant, but to say that the movie is horrible is just plain biased. Here is my review of   M. Night Shyamalan's 
After Earth.

Cast and Crew 

             After Earth was Directed by M. Night Shyamalan..ouch...There was a time that a movie could be proud of being directed by this guy. M. Night did Direct 'The Sixth Sense' and 'Unbreakable'. Then his head exploded. That was when we started seeing movies like 'The Village', 'Lady in the Water' where he casted himself to play the greatest movie maker in the world who would save the world with his writing...Then 'The Happening' ...then..'The Last Airbender' how did you lose the rights to the name 'Avatar' than air your horrible 'Avatar' movie at the same time they played the 'blue people Avatar'? M. Night, you idiot ! I have to call him that because he made a mistake thinking he could compete then, and was a fool thinking it would be a bright idea airing this movie AFTER Star Trek! I'm ranting.. bad director, bad choice Will Smith, and Sony! 

                This movie stars Will and Jaden Smith, the father, son duo return to this Sci-Fi thriller that is not about the Pursuit of Happiness, but instead , the pursuit of Fearlessness. Will Smith, is great, as always and his son...is son is a young actor. Any Critic in their right mind knew the first two Harry Potter movies had a cast of not so good child actors. However, the cast of that series all grew into some quite talented kids all because they were given a chance. Jaden is not an Oscar worthy actor, but the kid HAS talent. I believed some of the scenes involving him and really do not see this as a miss cast. 

The Story 

                This is the story of a futuristic world where Humans have nearly destroyed the earth and were forced to re-locate to a planet called Nova Prime. The Earth would evolve over the thousands of years to defend itself against Human Habitation and is classified uninhabitable to humans. However, when a Father and War Hero brings his son along on a mission, they crash land on the earth and are forced into an intense survival situation and all responsibility is left on the hands of a child. I feel that there is nothing wrong with this story. It was very emotionally driven and even well presented. There is another aspect to the story that I will leave to the viewers. 

The Presentation 

(Good Tasting Stuff) 

                 For this movie presentation has to be broken down in to the good and bad tasting.. because this movie has a bit of both. The main character wears this high tech suit that is able to inform the wearer about danger by changing colors...That suit was cool and it really added to the story when you see the suit change. The new Earth that the kid explores is also very lush and interesting. It allowed for some beautiful cinematography and musical set pieces that actually wowed me. Jaden's performance was considered to be overly childish by many but I have to say that his performance was part of the story. I do have to say that I felt that he was pandering to the audience too much with some facial expressions but over all I think he did a good job. I feel that the story of Cypher played by Will Smith was Excellent and I did not feel that he was an emotionless asshole the way may other critics felt. Every father in Cinema doesn't have to follow that formula of perfection. He looked as though he really loved his kids and family and his emotions were difficult to express due to the trauma he went through in the wars. There are things he does that speaks volumes about his actual personality.

The BAD Tasting 

               OK There are tow scenes I could not get over . One of which I know for a fact is the reason why some people are upset about this movie. One scene involve a strictly M. Night Moment. I was watching the movie like "Why is this scene in the movie" There is no reason for the scene and the next scene is even more ridiculous and seems to only be in the movie for the sake of ...being in the movie. I can advocate for the scene, but only if the story gave the audience more about this After Earth that could have made this scene possible. The scene itself knocked the movie down a whole grade. M. Night, there is a time to be you, and a time to sit back and think realistically for your movie....please start thinking!

The Rating 

I have an issue with critics over-bashing this movie. There are some serious plot holes,
Some scenes that don't need to be in the movie, there are some obviously green
screened shots, and the script is a little bland. However, there is a solid story ant fairly
solid performance by Jaden Smith. There have been many many other child actors who have done
far worse performance wise and yet we were able to overlook their lack of talent. It is amazing how
a child actor who plays alongside his father in a movie could ever be seen as "Pimping" in Will Smith's part.
Its as if we forgot that Charlie Sheen. He was a mediocre actor and son of Martin Sheen, and we allowed him to rise into super stardom, with several leading roles he did not have the chops to fulfill. But eventually even Charlie Sheen pumped out some decent movies. Give the boy a chance, This movie was ..

Satisfying 

Iron Man 3 Review

You can be the cockiest most arrogant man in the world parading around with your money, telling the National guard to suck it...Bud when you Get Pummeled by a God, Fix an invisible ship, and warp into outer  space to save the world,  you might get knocked down a peg or two ...

 

Iron Man 3

 

 

                 I guess now that I am reviewing this I am going to have to review the entire trilogy so be ready for Those Posts. So to me this movie is a sequel of two movies, Iron Man, and the Avengers. Why, because the Director, Shane Black is smart and he understands that that bore fest Iron Man 2 Never existed. So let us get on with the review of the movie that launched our SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SEASON!!!

 

 

Cast and Crew

 

                     Iron Man 3 stars Robert Downey Jr., Gwyeth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Guy Peirce, and Ben Kingsley.  The movie is Directed by Shane Black, the mind behind Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Lethal Weapon 2, and The Screenplay writer of  "Last Action Hero" ....

 

Well he wrote the Screenplay, he didn't direct the Last Action Hero. Shane Black is more known for his quick and smart dialogue. This is a style that you would understand if you watch "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" (I recommend it).  So how did Shane Black handle the summer Epic? Pretty well. The Directer worked with Downy Jr. Before and knows how to utilize the guy. The Cast is Phenomenal with Don Cheadle doing a much better job as the Iron Patriot. As a fan service, he still sees himself as a war machine....ooooh speaking of fan service. I'll save that part for later :D

The Story

          Iron Man 3 is the story of Tony Stark post Avengers incident. Tony is left legitimately frightened after the incident in New York city that changes his life. Tony is left to his thoughts when a terrorist who calls himself the Manderine starts attacking LA. Now Tony has to face the Maderine while trying to battle with his own demons.

          That is the story and the story is great but there is an issue within the story that will inevitably divide the fans of this movie.  Many who watched the movie know exactly what I am talking about but since the problem didn't piss me off to the core I will not spoil it. Of course I will have to create a retrospective post where I will get spoilerific about this movie. The story is good. It is exiting, Iron man is faced with a real threat and while you aren't left thinking "how the hell is Tony going to win?" you do still feel that he is facing a real and dangerous threat.

 

Presentation 

             The Special effects and acting in this film is great. This is mostly due to the fact that Shane Black Utilizes a lot of Tony Stark in this film. This movie really brings the audience closer to the type of individual Tony is and I really liked that about this film. The Direction pulled out all the stops to show that these movies are not all about a CGI tin man that can fly, it is about Tony Stark. The performances are great and the movie makes good with showing you this. My only problem with the presentation was the inability to demonstrate certain things in a light that won't piss off the fans. I have a feeling I know where the story because of my knowledge of the franchise and its film adaptation. However, liberties were taken that make me fully understand that fans will be pissed and that all falls in the hands of the presentation.

 

 

                                                                             The Rating

            After going to the theater to see this I am totally pumped for the summer season. Iron Man 3 has its problems has its problems but totally outshines part 2, and in some instances the first instalment as well. I still don't agree with some of the choices and chances the movie takes but those choices actually benefited the film. Angry Fans, all can say is remember Iron Man because the first instalment took liberties and facilitated in cheap propaganda. The ending was even a bit anti-climactic as well. this movie was well structured , well played, and well presented and it was a totally fun watch. I am a stickler for source material so that will definitely knock this movie down a peg from being delicious. Iron Man 3 was certainly a tasty treat and

 

                                                                          Great Tasting

 

 



 

 



 

 



 



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Oblivioun Movie Review

                  This movie should have been titled "Oblivious" instead. Tom Cruise was Oblivious to the tings that was happening around him. The Director was trying to keep you Oblivious and surprise you at the end...Actually,you do end up Oblivious...As to why you SAT THROUGH THIS WHOLE MOVIE!

Oblivion Review 

Cast and Crew

               Oblivion is directed by Joseph Kosinski the director of the legendary "Tron Legacy"...that was sarcasm. I have to say this director has a thing for vast emptiness and dark colors. Kosinski must have a fascination with sci-fi and I have to say he has a knack somewhere in his style. Eventually he will get it down and put out a sci-fi classic but Oblivion is not his career-making Gem. Tom Cruise plays Jack, Engineer 52. He is basically the only cast member worthy of discussing because this whole movie was his show. That is actually a good thing. I feel if the movie actually just kept the stupporting cast out of the picture more this would have been a great film. BUUUT the supporting cast are there...Morgan Freeman is Beech, he did good. Other people play other parts and I cannot discuss them without spoiling so let us move on :).

The Story 

              Jack, Engineer 52, is part of the clean up crew in a post apocalyptic Earth. Humanity was invaded and won, through the use of nuclear arms. It would be up to Jack to repair drones and explore the wastelands in various vehicles.However, Jack is a bit more intrigued with the land and less intrigued with his mission and starts digging. That is all I can tell you about the story . 

The Presentation 

              This movie is gorgeous. It looks like Jack is in a post apocalypse. One of the things that made me glad that I was watching this movie in the theaters was its stunning visuals. Tom Cruise is awesome in this movie. His act in Jack Reacher was commical to say the least but in this movie he put on his acting hat. So what is wrong with this movie that triggered my mean statement in my opening? The cast is great, the visuals are stunning, the story is actually very good, but Joseph Kosinski, your PRESENTATION sucks!!!

Take that Kosinski!!!!

              Ok...had to let off some steam, let us move on shall we.I had the same issues with "Tron Legacy" this director took a cool ass premise like: (A teen gets sucked into one of the most addictive arcade games in history) and turned it into a bunch of wannabe "Matrix" Wathefuckness!!! Here he takes a really cool story that should have been an instant classic and turned it into Boring  -------- bullshit. I had to censor myself because the use of the ------- genre made its way into this movie to become an unnecessary plot point!!! I'm a fan of ------- but that shit is out of the window in a world that is mostly Fallout 3 without the mutants. It was better when the ------- was between Jack and the planet he didn't want to abandon. 

             This movie takes a deep deep blow when it goes from actually intriguing to boring and the ending is a total cop out. Right after an ending  that you accept to expect after coping with the -------- bullshit the movie cops out and gives you a generic "Happily ever after" ending. I hate when a movie has everything going for it then a director tries to pull an M. Night Shammywammy on you . Forecast...M. Night sucks! he is a terrible director! There is no need to try to keep an audience guessing when you have a story with such an obvious ending. It will only piss us off an hour and  forty five minutes into the movie. 

Rating 

                 The story and the dedication my Tom Cruise and his supporting cast followed by these amazing visuals are proof that this movie deserves a better rating. I can actually see how some readers may get upset at my rating and argue that this movie was great. I have no problem with long movies but when a movie makes me think that I was watching it for three hours when in fact, I was watching it for two hours and five minutes then something is not right. When the action hit, it hit. When the drama weighs down, it was a little heavy. Yet, entertainment prevails and I was thoroughly bored during some of this film . With some better editing this movie could easily be about 20 to 30 minutes shorter and be a ton more entertaining. So I have to say I had my fill well before the third act. Oblivious was as Fattening and Bland as a Gallon of mushy rice!

Bland and Fattening 

(needs more seasoning and too Damn Much!!!)

                 

              

Quick Trivia

For the readers who had a chance to sit through the movie. When I mentioned -------- bullshit, what was I talking about? What genre doesn't belong in this

film? First guess gets an honorable mention in a post.

 

 

 

The Legend of Zelda : A Tasteful Retrospective

                     Would Frodo Baggins from the Lord of the Rings just hand the Ring of Power over to Sauron just for the challenge of hunting Sauron down and kicking that ass? Hell NO. But Link, from Legend of Zelda would do it and kill Sauron before he even grows his first Pubic Hair!

The History 

           On the year I was born, 1986, a simple video game would come to the home console that would significantly change gaming. Shigeru Myamoto is by far one of the most outside thinking video game developers in the history of gaming. His first major success was to to pull his construction worker out of Donkey Kong and give him a certification in Plumbing with Mario Bros. on the Famicom (the NES). While most gaming companies focused on Arcade gaming styles on the home consoles, Myamoto waned to focus on core game play and a goal that would keep gamers playing. 

            Myamoto wanted his games to reflect his childhood passion and desires. One great passion was Myamoto's passion for exploration and discovery. This passion would be translated into an 8 bit world in The Legend of Zelda. In the Christmas season children would open up a box to behold a game in a golden cartridge containing a game unlike any other. The game begins with Link (you could give him any name) in a room with an old man. The man says "It is dangerous out there, take this" and presents Link with a Sword. You can actually make the choice not to take the sword, but you will die! While the game play was clearly the definitive trait that launched the popularity of this game, many of the fans were caught up in the "Legend" of Zelda and the mysterious Triforce that they adventured this new world for. 

                 The Story

        The Legend of Zelda is a story of fantasy, war, and even reincarnation. The Story's center is Link, a young boy who is plunged into a dangerous quest to save his country from invasion. According to its original Hyrule Historia, The people of  Hyrule were relocated to the sky during a great war with The Demon, Demise. The war would lead to a godess relinquishing her immortality and leaving her sword for a Hero to reclaim and face the Demon. Link  would become that Hero. He decended from the sky and defeated the Demon in battle, becoming the Hero of Man. The people of  Hyrule would decend as well to settle their kingdom with the fiive noble races of earth. 

             But Demise would not be stopped and he was born again in the Guerudo Valley as Ganondorf. Ganondorf would return to Hyrule with the intent to seize the kingdom from within. He would curse the Great      Gaurdians of the earth, The Great Deku Tree, and Lord Jabu Jabu, and kill the King of Hyrule. However, Link and Zelda were borne into this world again and together are able to thwart Ganondorf in "The Ocarina of Time". The Legend would become obscured into three deep storylines after the events of the 'Ocarina of Time' since that adventure tore the fabric of time after many events involving time travel. 

The Triforce 

                In the Masterpiece, The Legend of Zelda, A Link to the Past, viewers would see this symbol of three triangles coming together to form a golden symbol that would forever shape the Zelda series. This is the Triforce, a relic left behind from the creators of the planet as a symbol of their existence. The Triforce would stir the interest of the Demon, Demise and start the neverending cycle of battles that tell the games story. The Triforce has three attributes, Wisdom , Power, and Courage. Only one that posesses all three attributes is worthy of controlling the relic.  But Ganondorf shatters the Triforce when he touches it and the relic split into three. The pieces would bond to the three people that had an affinity for its attribute. Link was given the Triforce of Courage, Zelda was given the Triforce of Wisdom, and Ganondorf was left with the Triforce of Power.  Ownership of the Triforce varies based on events of games but these are the essential places that each fragment of the Triforce resides and their masters. 

The Games 

The Legend of Zelda 1986  :                                                  Delicious 

The Legend of Zelda 2 Link's Adventure :                           Satisfying 

The Legend of Zelda "A Link to the Past :                          MASTERPIECE Delicious 

The Legend of Zelda "Link's Awakening":                         Delicious

The Legend of Zelda "Oracle of Seas/Ages":                     Unplayed 

The Legend of Zelda "Ocarina of Time" :                          MASTERPIECE Delicious 

The Legend of Zelda "Majora's Mask":                            Delicious 

The Legend of Zelda " Windwaker" :                                 MASTERPIECE Delicious

The Legend of Zelda  "The Twilight Princess"                   Delicious

The Legend of Zelda  "Minish Cap":                                  Great Tasting  

The Legend of Zelda  "The Phantom Hourglass"              Great Tasting 

The Legend of Zelda  "Spirit Tracks"                                 Great Tasting 

The Legend of Zelda  "Skyward Sword"                             MASTERPIECE Delicious 

The Legend of Zelda   "Ocarina of Time 3D"                     MASTERPIECE Delicious 

The Legend of Zelda   "A Link Between Words"               Unplayed 

The Legend of Zelda    " Windwaker HD"                          Unplayed (can't wait) 

Well if I missed any games let me know in the comments below. I will get to Oracle of Seasons and Ages 

and I plan on doing in depth reviews of the more popular games such as skyward sword. If anyone wants me to 

do an in depth review of any Zelda game let me know in the comments below and I promise I will get to it. I officially 

own every single Zelda title with the exception of  Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of ages. The Panasonic titles 

do not count and were not considered in the Hyrule Historia so please don't make me try to 

review those terrible games

The Legend

               For over 25 years Nintendo has been able to keep the legendary story of Link and his epic battle that takes place in his Universe for hundreds of years. The country of Hyrule evolves from a desolate empty land that is wracked with wars between Gods and Man, to a industrial world connected with railways and vast city towns. It is my assumption that Nintendo will keep the franchise going for another 25 years and maybe even make it into the Box office. This was a Tasteful retrospective of one of the most Delicious franchises in modern gaming history. 

          

GI Joe Retaliation Review

The Snake Eyes we all remember, the Storm Shadow we all remember,  The Cobra Commander we all remember (but without the high raspy voice, and Boobs with a gun...wait...I mean, the Lady Jaye... Sorry the movie really makes you think her code name is Boobs-with-a-gun. My bad...

 GI Joe: Retaliation

:

                     GI Joe Rise of the Cobra..I remember walking into a movie theater in my youth and staring at the fruits of Hollywood pulling down it's pants and shitting all over my childhood Toy Collection. I sat through as much of that movie as I could bear and walked out of the theater. I would debate with people about how bad the movie is. I would ask fans how old they were and get responses like "17" or "19" and I would want to punch the poor children in the head because of their ignorance. But now...A sequel was made and now, because of you guys, I have to watch that movie. I have to punish myself because I sat in a movie theater and realized that these fools weren't rebooting GI JOE, they are making a freaking SEQUEL. My integrity won't allow me to just quickly rate that movie without watching the rest of it so readers...be ready for the review of THAT movie. So how did the sequel hold up? Was the Rock able to save this poorly started franchise or will the Retaliation be an Epic Fail?

   Cast and Crew

                     I have to ponder...How did the director of Step Up 2, Step Up Revolution, and a Justin Beiber movie actually pull this movie off? I do not know. This film is Filmed by
Jon M Chu. I have to say, I don't know i it was studio pressure or Chu's choice of casting but for an Korean American Director, I am surprised how many GI JOE Characters were White Washed. The Cast is still impressive with Dwayne , The Rock  Johnson as leading character playing, Roadblock. His two man team of Joe's, Lady Jaye and Bland Nobody guy played by, Adrienne Palicki, and D.J. Contora are fine for what they are.


                 The REAL Stars of this movie are the Villains! Jonathan Pryce just eats his role up as The President and Zartan. (Yes, I said he plays Zartan Arnold Vosloo, sit down, you were the Face of Zartan fool) Pryce is obviously digging his role in this film and it works so well when he is on screen. Byung-hun Lee is fun to watch as Storm Shadow with his dark attitude and flashy fight sequences. And Luke Bracey...the Commando I always remenbered. Although Pryce stole the show, The Cobra was definitely nastolgic to see on stage.

                                                                          Story

                      The best way to describe this story is that its safe. I understand that they had to play it safe if they wanted to make some green on this movie. the first installment is terrible. This is a typical story about the good guy getting set up and having to go rouge. We have seen the story a thousand times. The Joes are introduced as the movie opens. We get to see the falsely advertised Channing Tatum, who enjoyed a good 39 seconds of screen time.(Honestly, false advertisement ...I had two 'Magic Mike' Fan Girls with me that were quite pissed at the theater!) as Duke, the squad leader of the JOEs. He has a close relationship with Roadblock and the friendship really makes for some fun dialogue in the opening Act.  However, the Cobra set up the JOE.s and annihilate the group killing most of the better actors from the first act. Thus leaving Roadblock alone with two Actors that would be killed off in a scary movie...making you wish that this were a scary movie. Road block has to get his team together and Rise up against the evils set before him.         

              The story is saved by the story of the Cobra. They have their own agenda and you will be thoroughly entertained by it. The Cobra embark on a quest to take over the world and fight of Snake Eyes, the only JOE They couldn't catch.THIS movie should have been called Rise of the Cobra...Witch is what makes me feel that Chu intended to shoot this movie as a Reboot and Hasbro Toys Executives stepped in to shut that down. They thought it would be more profitable to make this a Sequel so the critics like me would be forced to buy that other shitty movie and watch it. But the story is fine and it is muuuuuch better than the first instalment          




                                                                            Presentation

                      The Story may not be that great and the script may have been incredibly silly. But for some reason the way this movie is presented just has a charm that wont disappoint you after you are done with the film.The action really hits and makes up for a lot of the movies obvious flaws.   

                       However I cannot be too forgiving to this movie. The director made some poor choices in dialogue, and just core story sets. Spoiler Alert ....Spoiler Alert Skip a paragraph if you intend to watch this movie: If you watch the trailer, you see a Nuking that takes out a huge city. You would expect that scene to mean something to the story. I mean the way I looked at it, if  the Cobra succeeded in taking out millions they kinda won the fight. But after that bombing. The JOEs come in, kick ass, and the movie ends. No one even mentions the millions of people that die it was as if the scene never even happened. That shit is just sloppy writing!

                                                                            The Rating

                 

 I will be Straight with you .If you are one of those viewers that are able to turn off your sense of reality while watching action movies your shouldn't have a problem watching GI JOE: Retaliation. If you really want to enjoy it, sit through the first movie right before watching it and you should LOVE this one. I didn't do that because I wanted to avoid making the Contrast Error, and over rate this movie. I feel there could have been more done to save this movie. It was okay but I cannot call it a GOOD movie even though I enjoyed some scenes. I would have to say that GI JOE Retaliation may not be FOUL, but it definitely

                                                Needs More Seasoning

 



 

Retro Gaming Quick Bite : Megaman X 2

                     The war continues and Megaman X is the head of the Maverick Hunters in Megaman X 2 Versus the X Hunters...

Retro Quick Bite: Megaman X 2 

                  So Capcom succeeded in knocking the socks off of Megaman Fans with its  release of Megaman X. The innovative new moves and the perfection of side scrolling mechanics is unmatched when you play an X game. If that idea was hard to swallow look at Nintendo's classic hit Super Metroid and try to play the game. The controls are okay but it is very difficult to get used to the controls until you have played the game for an hour or two. Megaman literally takes seconds to jump right into. So is the second installment to Megaman X as amazing as its predecessor?

                  X2 takes place 6 months after the destruction of Sigma.X is promoted to Captain of the Maverick Hunters since Zero Sacrificed himself to save X in the first game. X relinquishes the X Armor because of his desire to never become "Over Powered" and attacks the last of the Maverick resistance. However, he is unable to find Sigma's followers. The last Mavericks unleash a devastating assault on the country with the intent of hunting down and destroying the Blue bomber.   

(Just sample footage, I'm not comentating in this film)


So X finds the X Armor again and you have to fight off the Maverick robot masters to find their mysterious leader. I am going to be clear about something with this game. Megaman X 2 has the best story campaign in the Super NES X series. Without saying words, the game opens up just showing how much stronger X has become. In Megaman X, you realize that you are helpless and week and you need the assistance of Zero to save you. However, in X 2, you start off just wrecking everything in  your path. The boss of the intro stage is a mecha that is like 10 times the size of Vile's Mecha that completely trashes X in the first game. You take out the Machine  with 4 charge shots.
                 After the intro stage the antagonists are shown watching X and stating that is is not to be F*^%ed with and they need to begin construction ASAP. This sets a tone for the player who pushed through the first game. You don't feel like you are starting from square one when you get through the intro stage. But the moment you step through a boss gate, feeling all awesome and confident, you get that ass handed to you. The Mavericks are tough and without upgrades or the weapon they are week against, you will find yourself deeply frustrated in this play through.
                But it is the story that shines when you play X2. The enemy lets you know that they have the body of your fallen comrade Zero. You then are placed into a side quest where you must fight  The X Hunters to claim Zero's parts. The X hunters post up at enemy hideouts, the entrance to some of their levels are hidden. The X hunters are even harder than the robot Masters. There are also other bosses Bit, Byte, and Vile, they attack you at random and are vicious bosses.  The simple story of a warrior trying to save his comrade just keep you playing through this game. But X2 is not perfect.


                     There are certain things that you expected the franchise to expand on when you played X2. When you Play through Megaman X, after defeating a boss, something happens to another bosses hideout and it is freakin COOL. This never happens in side scrollers before this game. You would beat Storm Eagle, and go to Spark Mandrill's stage and things are...different. Storm Eagle's Battleship has crashed into the power plant debris are strewn about the stage, and the lights are flickering. That is freaking GENIUS! When you defeat Chill Penguin, the the molten steel of the robot factory stage freezes over! When you put down the Octopus, the forest floods and you can use the water to find your heart tanks! That was something I was hoping X2 and 3 would do and for some reason, they didn't. Your actions from previous levels had no effects on the other levels you chose and I though that was a complete let down and a symptom of rushed development.
                   Secondly, the music!!!! Megaman is known for its iconic composition. Every Megaman game has really good and catchy music... You don't believe me check this out!
                                     (Megaman X, Spark Mandrill Stage Acapellla -This guy is
                                                               awesome for this!)

Megaman X had GREAT music. Megaman X2 had ..good music. This was a bit of a setback because I would play some levels and enjoy the music and I would play other levels and just want to turn my TV down, that should never happen when playing a Megaman game. The most disappointing song was the new Doctor Light song when you find an X Capsule. In Megaman X the music was quiet and suspenseful the music made me want to read everything Doctor light said. The X2 song was just not the same. But when you learn the Shoryuken....YES , Ken's Shoryuken from Street Fighter, when you find the (very difficult to reach capsule) Light says "Wow, You are so COOL! I am not Worthy, I am not Worthy " I chose to forgive the new song.

So with the great story line. Awesome Boss fights, and just, really fun game play Megaman X 2 is still

a great continuation of a great game. I still feel that this game was rushed. 

The game feels like it was moving towards allowing you to play as Zero once you assembled him

instead, the enemy takes him and you have to face him in the last act. There is an alternate ending and that 

helps with a bit of replay ability value. This game still is a ....

Delicious one

                 

Retro Gaming Quick Bite : Megaman X

 Hay Capcom! You are making an HD remake of Ducktales. Did you forget that other guy that you made 6 games for on the NES? That blue guy...The guy that you handed over to Sony who buried him after, what, 17 installments and a huge fan base? YEAH CAPCOM, where the hell is Megaman !?

Megaman X, SNES Installments 

A Retro Quick Bite 

                  So why was Megaman X such a memorable character in gaming history? Well the thing is, he is not. Most people know his prototype, Megaman, and his Mentor, Zero. Capcom has been pretty cruel to this Character. A quick history lesson is needed here. Capcom created Zero to be the eventual replacement for Megaman. The X series was meant to be the series that would bring the death of  Megaman and would branch off with a Zero series. In a sense, Capcom accomplished this by ending the X franchise and creating Megaman Zero. But the fans miss the true blue bomber and want to see him featured once again. Capcom recently scrapped a Megaman X FPS (first person shooter)  titled: Maverick Hunter, developed by the creators of the Metroid Prime Franchise. The game actually looked quite good and the news of its cancellation is kind of upsetting.

              We are going to take a bite into the Retro SNES titles, Megaman X 1-3. Developers chose to take a more theatrical role in the creation of these games and the story is pretty intense. Did you ever see Will Smith in I Robot? Well that was essentially the Megaman X story. Robots serve humans with a law to never hurt a human. However this law became obsolete when a Dr. Wiley created a virus that turned robots to take over the world. Megaman was created specifically to take out these mavericks. The war between Mavericks and maverick hunters would go on for many years past the deaths of Doctor's Light and Wiley.
But with the creation of Reploids, robots like Megaman that could make their own choices more and more reploids would turn Maverick of their own accord. One of these Reploids was the Sigma, an incredibly efficient warrior that decided that humans were obsolete. He would gather an army of powerful mavericks and wage war against humanity.
             One of Sigma's strongest allies was Dr. Wiley's last creation, Zero. It would be speculated that Zero is a highly upgraded, and unmasked version of Protoman (Megaman's official Prototype that was stolen). During the time that Zero turned Maverick Hunter, and ancient and powerful Reploid was discovered that closely resembled Megaman. This Reploid would come to be called Megaman X. He was no where near as strong as Zero, but he would be a highly effective Maverick Hunter.

Megaman X 

                Megaman X starts off shortly after the discovery of X and throws you in the middle of the Maverick Hunter War. In the early 90s, cinematic games were a rare feat but this game executed it so well. When you start the game, you see the analysis of a recently discovered X. Whoever is analyzing his body is noting how potentially powerful he can be. This is one of the core aspects of this game, growing stronger RPG style within a shooter. The game doesn't start off like a typical Megaman game. Instead of the Level Select screen, you are thrown right into a level. You witness a city under attack and you control X, fighting through the throngs of attackers. The game introduces new mechanics that will be essential to game play, the charge shot, and the wall jump. The first level serves as a way to teach you how to play the game and you are forced to naturally learn the wall jump and other moves you will need. The best way to explain how great this game was put together is to share a video...

This game is simply a masterpiece. Capcom outdid themselves with Megaman X and it stands out as one of the greatest games of all time. The story, the buildup , the execution, and the challenge all blend together to make an awesome game. As you play on, you don't only discover new enemy abilities, you are introduced to Zero , an  awesome supporting character. He only has two lines of dialogue with X and his presence in the game is still dynamic and engrossing. You also get to find the X Armor.

 You also can build your lifebar higher than a Robot Master's, and leard Ryu's Haduken from Street Fighter! The Haduken is so powerful, it can take any boss out with one blow, including Sigma ! When you played Megaman, you were an underdog, but X is meant to make you feel stronger as you progress while maintaining  a good challenge as well. That balance itself makes this game a piece of art and sooooooo 

Delicious 

Be ready for the Quickbite of Megaman X 2... Later today. 

Taken 2 Review

Reader...I have been Taken.I believe it was the doing of Oliver Megaton. I am currently in a warehouse in the land of  stereotypical evil Muslims  I need you to go into my office, locate my laptop case and take one pistol and 5 grenades. Get  to highest building you can find and throw a grenade. I will call you and we shall draw a map to determine my location....get to it !

"Granaaaaade! Derrrrrrrrrr"

Taken 2 

                   Woe there are times in life that it I cannot understand the psyche of the common human and these times are very annoying. There is no reason for this movie to exist. The Premise is retarded, the movie is retarded, and you just cannot take this seriously. If you just watch and pay attention to the first film you can clearly see that the movie was intended to be a one time kind of thing. Viewers have to look at Taken like a one night stand with a really hot individual. It was fun and entertaining two hours but when it's over you know that you won't be meeting again, there is no round two. So why Hollywood? Why did you go out to the dark dirty streets, clean up our old friend and try to sell them to us like the Pimp you are???Why Hollywood? Now we have to sit and realize that that fun time memory is not really how we remembered and the second time around is not really all that good at all. Thank you for shattering a good Memory Hollywood, you greedy bastards. The thing that really sucks is we the audience are sort of forced to buy into the gimmick because Taken was a great film. Let me just get this movie over with...

Cast and Crew 

                      This is where the conspiracy gets interesting before I tell you the director, I am going to tell you a little history lesson. Taken was directed by Pierre Morel, who directed Transporter and had his hands on work for Transporter 2. Taken two was directed by Oliver Megaton, the director of Transporter 3 and Columbiana. I think this Director hates action movies and purposely kills franchises. Transporter was a franchise killed by Megaton, and Columbiana and Red Siren were both Directed by this horrible man and intended to be franchise movies. Unfortunately the direction for those movies was so terrible the movies would die on their first installment. Megaton obviously makes his career by riding the coattails of other directors and killing their franchises by directing sequels...

                                                                           

Story 

               So why is Taken 2 a waist of your time and money? Well in order to fully understand my issue with this movie you have to take a look at Taken, and its Story. In Taken, you are introduced to Bryan Mills, a divorced ex operative who retires to re-kindle his relationship with his spoiled daughter. His estranged wife is  just a terrible individual that tries to thwart his attempts to contact his daughter. Unfortunately, his daughter uses his interest to get him to sign an agreement against his advice to go overseas. His daughter gets kidnapped by a sex traffic mob and Mills has to go to Europe to save her. 

               That movie had a very realistic tone and strong story. However in this story, Mills becomes a completely different character. Taken 2 starts off by introducing Mills as an Obsessive Compulsive instead of the simply careful man he was in the first movie. His wife is conveniently separated from the man she was seeing in the first movie even though this movies time frame is only months after the first movie. In the first movie, there was no sign of problems in that relationship so the separation is a really odd thing to happen. The story opens up with Mills attempting to teach his daughter how to drive. His daughter ends up becoming as annoying as his ex wife was in the first film. She is upset about Mills' obsessions to keep her safe and tries to avoid him and keep him from finding out about her relationships. This is literally months after his daughter was kidnapped and sold to SEX TRAFFIC MOBS! The absence of character development in Kim's character is literally jarring when she is introduced in this movie.  Kim only mentions the events for the sake of mentioning them. 

               While Mills is teaching his daughter how to drive, the evil father of an Albanian from the first movie wants to exact his revenge on Brian Mills. This is where the story starts to get retarded. The first movie introduced the Albanians as a uniform group. When Mills interrogated members, asking for Marco, they responded "we are Marco". These men were very clear about protecting and keeping out their leaders. The first movie also showed that these men were connected with very powerful individuals of all races. Does that happen in Taken 2? Of course not. The evil Albanians become the stereotypical Evil Muslims.

            All of the above is tolerable until Bryan Mills becomes a total contradiction. He asks his Ex wife and daughter to join him while he goes overseas to do a MISSION. Yes, the man that wouldn't let his daughter go to FRANCE in the first movie decides to take both his ex wife and child overseas with him on a mission only months after saving his daughter from a sex distribution chain. I think Bryan Mills took too many blows to the head in Taken. So you would think that the mission in a Muslim country must not be dangerous if he is taking his family right? WRONG, on this mission he takes a briefcase with him that is full of guns, ammo, and several grenades , yeah....

             Now, the man that is so cautious takes his family to this third world country and we have our movie because someone will be "Taken" again. Spoil alert time Spoil Alert time. This movie is not worth 2 hours of your life but I am further elaborating on the story so skip if you wish... So in this movie, the evil Muslims kidnap Mills and his wife. Mills ends...get this shit...calling his daughter and helps her find his location because he used his awesome spy powers to remember the exact route to the enemy hideout. He tells his 17 year old daughter to take grenades, and THROW THEM INTO RANDOM STREETS, so that he could determine his location! After she tosses grenades into a conveniently empty parking lot Mills is able to help her find his EXACT location on the map. This is a 17 year old, Laptop, ipad, and iPhone using girl uses a conventional paper map to plot locations in a country that she has NEVER BEEN TO. Do you think I am a retarded viewer Oliver Megaton? You think we are retarded....So Mills' daughter is "blending in" and lopping grenades without being noticed

"I'm gonna save you Daddy,, Grenade!!!!Derrrrrrp"

 "Yeaaaah, Bad Ass Spy  Guy's Daughter"

                 After using a map to determine his exact location does the 17 year old plot the information on her iPhone?  Nope, she is a bad ass spy daughter. She actually memorizes the location; starts throwing grenades and taking names.  

                   Meanwhile Mills' ex wife gets chained upside down and sliced because the bad guys want Mills to watch her die. The two are left alone while the bad guys literally watch soccer and eat Gyros (seriously they watch soccer and eat Gyro, no sarcasm) while a white girl is walking around the city throwing grenades. I guess the town is just so fucked up that common folk toss grenades whenever they are pissed off.

 "How Dare you insult my soccer team!"

Badass Evil Muslims (guitar plays solo) 

                

                   If you make it this far into the movie. Mills will then easily free himself because the evil Muslims thought it would be a good idea to Chain his helpless ex wife up...and tie up a dangerous government operative with a plastic zip tie. Chains on the woman...zip tie on the man that murdered 150 people six months ago..brilliant.  So Mills is saved by his daughter and he kills everyone and leaves his nearly dead ex wife on the dirty floor as if the stereotypical evil Muslims wont find her in the room that they left her in the first place...brilliant. Mills than gets in the car with his daughter and she drives through this epic chase scene...What is wrong with this picture? 17 year old Kim failed 3 driving tests and was still being trained at the beginning of the movie. Now, she is literally drifting, and doing donuts in a country where the rules of the road are completely different, while being shot at!!!

                  At the end of the scene, Mills goes back to the hideout, and his wife is done...Ya don't say. He uses his spy power to track her down, kill the baddies, and beat the boss of the game. The boss hints that there will be a sequel and I swear if that movie happens there will be no mercy on you Oliver Megaton. You are one of the worse Directors in the industry and I hope Liam Neeson has the integrity to stay away from a sequel to this piece of shit if you are the director. This story was horrible and unbelievable. The reason I am being so harsh to it is because of the first movie. Taken had a realistic tone with a realistic hero and realistic villains. One of the things that made the movie great was that there was essentially no villain. His daughter was literally at the wrong place at the wrong time and that is one of the things that is riveting about that story. We didn't tune in because we wanted to see explosions and cracking bones, we tuned in because of the suspense and the possibility that kidnap of this degree can happen to our loved ones. This story is SHIT!

Presentation 

                   If you haven't watched this movie and heeded my warning you would know that the story is terrible to this movie. What was worse? The Action. How does a purely mindless action movie end up with worse action than the Suspense Thriller that came before it? When Oliver Megaton Directs it, that's when. The action sequences literally look like the director was waving his camera back and forth while wiggling it around while Liam Neeson just danced tango with his aggressor. I am not kidding. Every explosion was done in bad CGI. Everything about the presentation just screamed Straight to DVD film. I hate this movie. It took a great stand alone classic and turned it into a shitty franchise and I cannot forgive this as a film viewer. This movie was even more sexist than the first film. Mill's daughter's body gets put on display for no reason with pool scenes and walking around in bikini scenes. 

                The first movie had this scene where she was going to be sold off.  she came out in a bikini while people started bidding on her. She is looking around scared of the fate that could be coming. This scene makes the viewer see not her body, but the person she is. The viewer is ashamed of seeing her body because antagonists are seeing her with the intent to deflower her. It was a sensitive scene. Now the sequel throws that history aside and beckons the male audience to look at Kim the way you look at all action movie girls. She is no longer a supporting cast member but an object.  Let me rate this movie I am tired of Ranting 

The Rating 

Why elaborate, This movie doesn't deserve another paragraph. Taken 2 Tasted like

a big fat...

SHIT SANDWICH !!!!1