Reader...I have been Taken.I believe it was the doing of Oliver Megaton. I am currently in a warehouse in the land of stereotypical evil Muslims I need you to go into my office, locate my laptop case and take one pistol and 5 grenades. Get to highest building you can find and throw a grenade. I will call you and we shall draw a map to determine my location....get to it !
"Granaaaaade! Derrrrrrrrrr"
Taken 2
Woe there are times in life that it I cannot understand the psyche of the common human and these times are very annoying. There is no reason for this movie to exist. The Premise is retarded, the movie is retarded, and you just cannot take this seriously. If you just watch and pay attention to the first film you can clearly see that the movie was intended to be a one time kind of thing. Viewers have to look at Taken like a one night stand with a really hot individual. It was fun and entertaining two hours but when it's over you know that you won't be meeting again, there is no round two. So why Hollywood? Why did you go out to the dark dirty streets, clean up our old friend and try to sell them to us like the Pimp you are???Why Hollywood? Now we have to sit and realize that that fun time memory is not really how we remembered and the second time around is not really all that good at all. Thank you for shattering a good Memory Hollywood, you greedy bastards. The thing that really sucks is we the audience are sort of forced to buy into the gimmick because Taken was a great film. Let me just get this movie over with...
Cast and Crew
This is where the conspiracy gets interesting before I tell you the director, I am going to tell you a little history lesson. Taken was directed by Pierre Morel, who directed Transporter and had his hands on work for Transporter 2. Taken two was directed by Oliver Megaton, the director of Transporter 3 and Columbiana. I think this Director hates action movies and purposely kills franchises. Transporter was a franchise killed by Megaton, and Columbiana and Red Siren were both Directed by this horrible man and intended to be franchise movies. Unfortunately the direction for those movies was so terrible the movies would die on their first installment. Megaton obviously makes his career by riding the coattails of other directors and killing their franchises by directing sequels...
Story
So why is Taken 2 a waist of your time and money? Well in order to fully understand my issue with this movie you have to take a look at Taken, and its Story. In Taken, you are introduced to Bryan Mills, a divorced ex operative who retires to re-kindle his relationship with his spoiled daughter. His estranged wife is just a terrible individual that tries to thwart his attempts to contact his daughter. Unfortunately, his daughter uses his interest to get him to sign an agreement against his advice to go overseas. His daughter gets kidnapped by a sex traffic mob and Mills has to go to Europe to save her.
That movie had a very realistic tone and strong story. However in this story, Mills becomes a completely different character. Taken 2 starts off by introducing Mills as an Obsessive Compulsive instead of the simply careful man he was in the first movie. His wife is conveniently separated from the man she was seeing in the first movie even though this movies time frame is only months after the first movie. In the first movie, there was no sign of problems in that relationship so the separation is a really odd thing to happen. The story opens up with Mills attempting to teach his daughter how to drive. His daughter ends up becoming as annoying as his ex wife was in the first film. She is upset about Mills' obsessions to keep her safe and tries to avoid him and keep him from finding out about her relationships. This is literally months after his daughter was kidnapped and sold to SEX TRAFFIC MOBS! The absence of character development in Kim's character is literally jarring when she is introduced in this movie. Kim only mentions the events for the sake of mentioning them.
While Mills is teaching his daughter how to drive, the evil father of an Albanian from the first movie wants to exact his revenge on Brian Mills. This is where the story starts to get retarded. The first movie introduced the Albanians as a uniform group. When Mills interrogated members, asking for Marco, they responded "we are Marco". These men were very clear about protecting and keeping out their leaders. The first movie also showed that these men were connected with very powerful individuals of all races. Does that happen in Taken 2? Of course not. The evil Albanians become the stereotypical Evil Muslims.
All of the above is tolerable until Bryan Mills becomes a total contradiction. He asks his Ex wife and daughter to join him while he goes overseas to do a MISSION. Yes, the man that wouldn't let his daughter go to FRANCE in the first movie decides to take both his ex wife and child overseas with him on a mission only months after saving his daughter from a sex distribution chain. I think Bryan Mills took too many blows to the head in Taken. So you would think that the mission in a Muslim country must not be dangerous if he is taking his family right? WRONG, on this mission he takes a briefcase with him that is full of guns, ammo, and several grenades , yeah....
Now, the man that is so cautious takes his family to this third world country and we have our movie because someone will be "Taken" again. Spoil alert time Spoil Alert time. This movie is not worth 2 hours of your life but I am further elaborating on the story so skip if you wish... So in this movie, the evil Muslims kidnap Mills and his wife. Mills ends...get this shit...calling his daughter and helps her find his location because he used his awesome spy powers to remember the exact route to the enemy hideout. He tells his 17 year old daughter to take grenades, and THROW THEM INTO RANDOM STREETS, so that he could determine his location! After she tosses grenades into a conveniently empty parking lot Mills is able to help her find his EXACT location on the map. This is a 17 year old, Laptop, ipad, and iPhone using girl uses a conventional paper map to plot locations in a country that she has NEVER BEEN TO. Do you think I am a retarded viewer Oliver Megaton? You think we are retarded....So Mills' daughter is "blending in" and lopping grenades without being noticed
"I'm gonna save you Daddy,, Grenade!!!!Derrrrrrp"
"Yeaaaah, Bad Ass Spy Guy's Daughter"
After using a map to determine his exact location does the 17 year old plot the information on her iPhone? Nope, she is a bad ass spy daughter. She actually memorizes the location; starts throwing grenades and taking names.
Meanwhile Mills' ex wife gets chained upside down and sliced because the bad guys want Mills to watch her die. The two are left alone while the bad guys literally watch soccer and eat Gyros (seriously they watch soccer and eat Gyro, no sarcasm) while a white girl is walking around the city throwing grenades. I guess the town is just so fucked up that common folk toss grenades whenever they are pissed off.
"How Dare you insult my soccer team!"
Badass Evil Muslims (guitar plays solo)
If you make it this far into the movie. Mills will then easily free himself because the evil Muslims thought it would be a good idea to Chain his helpless ex wife up...and tie up a dangerous government operative with a plastic zip tie. Chains on the woman...zip tie on the man that murdered 150 people six months ago..brilliant. So Mills is saved by his daughter and he kills everyone and leaves his nearly dead ex wife on the dirty floor as if the stereotypical evil Muslims wont find her in the room that they left her in the first place...brilliant. Mills than gets in the car with his daughter and she drives through this epic chase scene...What is wrong with this picture? 17 year old Kim failed 3 driving tests and was still being trained at the beginning of the movie. Now, she is literally drifting, and doing donuts in a country where the rules of the road are completely different, while being shot at!!!
At the end of the scene, Mills goes back to the hideout, and his wife is done...Ya don't say. He uses his spy power to track her down, kill the baddies, and beat the boss of the game. The boss hints that there will be a sequel and I swear if that movie happens there will be no mercy on you Oliver Megaton. You are one of the worse Directors in the industry and I hope Liam Neeson has the integrity to stay away from a sequel to this piece of shit if you are the director. This story was horrible and unbelievable. The reason I am being so harsh to it is because of the first movie. Taken had a realistic tone with a realistic hero and realistic villains. One of the things that made the movie great was that there was essentially no villain. His daughter was literally at the wrong place at the wrong time and that is one of the things that is riveting about that story. We didn't tune in because we wanted to see explosions and cracking bones, we tuned in because of the suspense and the possibility that kidnap of this degree can happen to our loved ones. This story is SHIT!
Presentation
If you haven't watched this movie and heeded my warning you would know that the story is terrible to this movie. What was worse? The Action. How does a purely mindless action movie end up with worse action than the Suspense Thriller that came before it? When Oliver Megaton Directs it, that's when. The action sequences literally look like the director was waving his camera back and forth while wiggling it around while Liam Neeson just danced tango with his aggressor. I am not kidding. Every explosion was done in bad CGI. Everything about the presentation just screamed Straight to DVD film. I hate this movie. It took a great stand alone classic and turned it into a shitty franchise and I cannot forgive this as a film viewer. This movie was even more sexist than the first film. Mill's daughter's body gets put on display for no reason with pool scenes and walking around in bikini scenes.
The first movie had this scene where she was going to be sold off. she came out in a bikini while people started bidding on her. She is looking around scared of the fate that could be coming. This scene makes the viewer see not her body, but the person she is. The viewer is ashamed of seeing her body because antagonists are seeing her with the intent to deflower her. It was a sensitive scene. Now the sequel throws that history aside and beckons the male audience to look at Kim the way you look at all action movie girls. She is no longer a supporting cast member but an object. Let me rate this movie I am tired of Ranting
The Rating
Why elaborate, This movie doesn't deserve another paragraph. Taken 2 Tasted like
a big fat...
SHIT SANDWICH !!!!1
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